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Can Doctors Give Medical Advice to Friends?

Quite regularly, I am asked to comment on the care of folks who are not my patients.  Often, these are friends or their relatives who are suffering gastrointestinal (GI) distress.  “Would you be able to give her a call”?  On other occasions, a member of my own family wants me to connect with someone who has a GI issue.

This is tricky terrain and I navigate it very cautiously.  Obviously, I am not the individual’s doctor and would never assume this role.  The individual shares with me only his version of the facts which may not represent the totality of the medical situation. I don’t have the data and have not performed my own examination..  It would be highly irresponsible and unethical for a physician from afar, who has no professional attachment to the individual, to dispense medical advice or to sow doubts about the quality of the medical care rendered.  Indeed, a physician who crosses a line here can cause confusion and doubt which can have deleterious health effects.


Physician agrees to discuss a friend's medical situation.

In some instances, I simply decline to connect with the individual.  In selected instances, I will reach out to folks who have unanswered questions.  I make it clear that these conversations are informal and I will not be giving medical advice or challenging their own physicians’ care.  As we conclude, I always direct these individuals to return to their care teams.   Despite all of these qualifiers, I maintain – and these folks and their families agree – that my conversations with them have value. 

They can ask me every question on their minds as there is no ticking clock in the background.  They often don’t fully understand the rationale for recommended tests or medications which I can explain to them.   They may need clarification why a certain consultant was brought in on the case. I can also suggest questions that they might pose to their medical professionals. 

I serve as a listener and an explainer. These cases remind me how often patients – including mine – might not have the full understanding of their medical situation that we doctors think they have.  I can’t count, for example, how often I have asked a patient why he is on a certain medicine to be told he has no idea. 

Sometimes, all we want is a chance to tell our story and to be heard.


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