Over the course of a year, I have an alternating pattern of
caffeinated coffee ingestion. As
readers should know, I will not swallow Starbucks ‘Joe’ as I do not think that
I have sufficient stomach acid and other bodily defenses to successful prevail against
this corrosive elixir. Of course, everything has a benefit if one is
resourceful enough to discover it. For
instance, I have found their coffee to be quite useful as a paint remover or
shark repellent.
The best coffee in Cleveland is found at Dunkin’ Donuts
(DD). Perhaps, one of the reasons their
java is so smooth is that my order of coffee with cream is mixed at a 1 to 1
ratio. Cream at DD is no half and half
concoction; it’s the real thing.
As I write this, there is an environmentally unfriendly Styrofoam
cup beside me. I’ll down this coffee every day for weeks reaching a point
where if I skip a day, I will enjoy the pleasure of an ice-pick, throbbing
headache at 4 pm. It’s a pounder that
stays with me for 3 hours, until it fades allowing my neurons to regain some
level of function. At this point, I am
aware that I have developed a physical addition to the stimulant, and need to
resume daily use if I am to avoid the afternoon cranial crusher.
Coffea Arabica Plant
Opium of the People?
I now face a choice.
Resume the daily caffeine or break it off and tolerate the withdrawal
phase until I am successfully detoxified.
In general, I opt for the latter and survive on decaf for
several weeks until I convince myself that a single caffeinated morning brew
can’t hurt me. And so, resumes the
cycle.
While this is a real addiction with real withdrawal, it is a
mere wraith of the addictions that I confront as a physician. While the tobacco habit is most common,
there’s an abundance of alcohol abuse in my practice, which I am sure is
substantially underestimated. I surmise
that most of the alcoholics in my practice are unknown to me. I see a fair amount of pain medication
addiction, which was initiated for short term pain control, but over time has
morphed into a new disease.
It’s a sad reality to recognize how difficult it is for
alcoholics and other addicts to recover successfully, even when they strive to
do so. Booze and cigarettes over time
become tentacles that wrap around their victims, squeezing tightly, such that
most addicts don’t have the strength or the will to remove them. It is humbling to appreciate the power that
these substances exert over the users.
These are folks who simply cannot throw these chains aside, despite
suffering profound personal and professional losses and serious medical consequences. And, no one can do this work for them, as I
have witnessed time and time again.
There is no comparison of these tragic and recalcitrant conditions
to a coffee fling, which poses a small challenge to the afflicted individual,
as I know. While some addicts manage to
slay the dragon, most will serve as prey to the beast.
I’ve got a few more swigs of DD left this morning. Addicted?
Of course not. I can stop anytime
I want. Maybe tomorrow, or the next day…
Nobody should ever take the first dose of a potentially addictive substance.
ReplyDeleteI entered the hospital for a hemi-thyroidectomy. All went well until the following morning. Nancy New Nurse came in to do vitals and asked me if I had any pain. I explained that my throat was only a little sore, but I had a horrible headache. I am not at all a headache-prone person, and this was debilitating. Nancy New Nurse found that my BP was a little elevated and went to get Old Crusty, the head nurse. Old Crusty asked how much caffeine I consume. I consume caffeinated beverages much like a contiuous IV infusion at the rate of 60-100cc per hour. "Give her a Percocet and a cup of coffee; she'll be fine" announces Old Crusty to Nancy New Nurse. It took one Perc and two cups of coffee, but she was right! Tricia
ReplyDelete@anonymous above, great vignette! I lament that we have so few Nurse Crusty's, whom we need desperately. Sounds like you rec'd a dose of common sense.
ReplyDeleteSince I have been trying to give up drinking alcohol I have been replacing it with coffee all I am doing is replacing one addiction to another.
ReplyDelete@EKG MachineMan, you're on the right track.
ReplyDelete