Skip to main content

Whistleblower Releases Top Ten News Stories: Nation Shocked!

Image
By
My research staff at Whistleblower, which is me, scours the news each week so that I may deliver to my tens of thousands of readers, or at least a few dozen including family, pithy profundities. Here are some news items that were leaked to us by high level sources whose identities we will zealously protect for as long as their monthly payments to us continue. Here’s our top ten list. Let the whistle blow!


Whistleblower Researcher

  • Obama admits he voted for George Bush in 2000.
  • Residency training regulations modified at NYC hospital. House staff is now required to work a full 7 days without sleep to maximize continuity of care and to reduce hand off errors.
  • American College of Radiology argues that CAT scanning is underused and that thousands of incidentalomas are being missed.
  • Pay-for-Performance model will now be applied to elected officials. Physicians will design the quality metrics.
  • Medicare will now cover the cost of any treatment that a patient believes is medically necessary. Medicare may appeal the decision, which will be decided by the patient’s family.
  • American Bar Association announces strong support for caps on non-economic damages. When asked if they now admit that the medical malpractice system was unfair, abusive and unjust, they responded, “yup”.
  • FDA requires that the consumer cost of every prescription drug not exceed $1 per dose. Pharmaceutical companies concerned over loss of R & D revenue were reassured. Their profits will explode, our government explained, as Canadians will turn south for cheap medicines.
  • Physicians can now receive fees for referring patients to medical colleagues just like lawyers now do with clients.
  • Gastroenterologists, cardiologists, ophthalmologists and dermatologists volunteer to transfer 25% of their income to family physicians and internists because fairness feels good.
  • Obama reassures the public about our stagnant economy. “I will do for our economy exactly what I did for health care.”
Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice…

Happy April Fool’s Day! Now, go pull a fast one on someone. If you’re not sure how to do this, and you need expert advice, call your senator or congressman. These fools are pros.
Labels:

Comments

  1. rapnzl rnApril 3, 2012 at 1:23 AM

    Touche'!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Toni Brayer, MDApril 3, 2012 at 1:31 AM

    Love it. I wish some of them were true!

    ReplyDelete
  3. ElApril 11, 2012 at 10:34 PM

    US Health Care Now Affordable and No Longer Ranked 37th in the world,

    US doctors are regulated much in the same way other professionals are.

    Nosocomial infections are now rare.

    Doctors adhere to the Hippocratic Oath.

    Weight loss surgery is banned.

    Rick Scott is sentenced to death.

    Snipers take out the CEO and executives at Bristol Meyers Squibb.

    Iatrogenic deaths continue to decline and doctor deaths continue to rise.

    ReplyDelete
  4. RNwhocaresApril 29, 2012 at 8:30 AM

    LOL!

    Excellent article for April Fools Day.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Stop Medical Malpractice: The White Coat Wall of Silence

By
Photo Credit Leisure Guy, one of my most faithful commenters, opines that I am omitting an important aspect of the tort reform argument. He has implored me repeatedly to read a particular book that I suspect buttresses his views, but this worthy pursuit is simply not near the top of my priority pyramid. Since he’s retired, he enjoys the luxury of burrowing deeply into the base of his priority pyramid. With 4 tuitions to go, retirement is a distant mirage for me. I’m can be a ‘leisure guy’, but only in my dreams. I have written throughout this blog and elsewhere that there are too many frivolous lawsuits against physicians. I have admitted that caps on non-economic damages are not ideal, because they deny some worthy plaintiffs of complete compensation, but I support them because I believe they serve the greater good. I have ranted that there is no effective filter to screen out physicians who should never be invited to the litigation party in the first place. I believe that the...
113 comments
Read more

When Should Doctors Retire?

By
I am asked with some regularity whether I am aiming to retire in the near term.  Years ago, I never received such inquiries.  Why now?   Might it be because my coiffure and goatee – although finely-manicured – has long entered the gray area?  Could it be because many other even younger physicians have given up their stethoscopes for lives of leisure? (Hopefully, my inquiring patients are not suspecting me of professional performance lapses!) Interestingly, a nurse in my office recently approached me and asked me sotto voce that she heard I was retiring.    “Interesting,” I remarked.   Since I was unaware of this retirement news, I asked her when would be my last day at work.   I have no idea where this erroneous rumor originated from.   I requested that my nurse-friend contact her flawed intel source and set him or her straight.   Retirement might seem tempting to me as I have so many other interests.   Indeed, reading and ...
69 comments
Read more

Prostate Cancer Screening: Stop The PSA Train!

By
About 10 years ago, my dad was to see his general internist. I have always refrained from giving medical advice to my family, for all of the reasons why doctors should not treat or advise their relatives. But, on this occasion, I did give Dad some unsolicited advice, particularly as I knew that his physician fired the diagnostic testing trigger readily. “Dad, please make sure that he doesn’t check the PSA (prostate specific antigen) test.” Dad indicated that he would convey my concern to his doctor, who ran the test on him anyway. Apparently, he includes the PSA test as a matter of routine on all men over a certain age. Twenty-five years ago as a curious, but skeptical medical student, I learned about prostate cancer. I learned that every man will develop it if he lives long enough. I learned that most cases of prostate cancer remain silent and never interfere with the individual’s life. I learned that the treatment for these cancers involves either major surgery or radiation, both of ...
74 comments
Read more