Sunday, March 24, 2013

Sequestration Closes the White House


Fortunately, the sequester did not incinerate Caribou Coffee, where I suck down several hot chocolates each week.  Luckily, Cleveland hasn’t passed a Big Government Big Edict against Big Beverages, as Mayor Michael Bloomberg rammed through last year in New York City.  Recently, a New York state judge refused to drink the mayor’s Kool Aid and ruled against the absurd, loophole-ridden government intrusion.  

Sorry, Mike.  I suggest that you console yourself with a beer, which apparently is much safer than soda since no restrictions were placed on sizes of alcoholic beverages that may be sold.     

I will try to crank out at a blog post now, but my heart is ponderous as I contemplate the plight of our nation’s children.   The barricades have been erected at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.  White House tours have been cancelled, yet another apocalyptic consequence of sequestration.  It’s not clear to me who was responsible for this.  The White House?  The Secret Service?  Personally, I think it must be George Bush’s fault and expect that Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi will soon declare this publicly. 

Sorry kids.

The Obama administration faults the GOP for failing to ‘compromise’ on what they describe as a balanced approach to our nation’s fiscal situation.  Let me elucidate the meaning of the word compromise.  It means surrender and cave.  The Dems want more revenue, aka taxes, although the GOP just consented to a gazillion or so dollars of tax increases on the wealthy, which took effect on January 1st.  Wasn’t that a compromise?  If the GOP cave again now, or should I say compromise, does any breathing American believe that they won’t be asked to do again and again?

One thing is for sure.  Both sides have only one issue on their minds – the 2014 midterm elections.  I predict that the GOP will retain the House and that the intransigence will persist.  Then, for the next 2 years, both sides will calculate every uttered syllable and act toward prevailing in the upcoming presidential election.  Remind me, why is the world laughing at us?  There’s something to be said for benevolent dictatorships.

Who can help to diffuse the hyperpartisanship and tamp down the political hyperventilating?   Who can cut through the Machiavellian maelstrom to bring sanity to chaos?  There is a singularly gifted individual has the requisite diplomatic skills to triumph in this mission impossible.  America needs Dennis Rodman now more than ever. 

Who’s going to break the news to our kids that the White House is off limits?  We may need to recruit professional counselors to manage their grief, but there may be a dearth of therapists who have been decimated by the sequester.  A spoonful of Haagen Dazs can help ease the bitter medicine down our youngsters' gullets.  (I mention the word gullet so I can justify this rant in a medical blog.)   Let’s give each of our neglected kids a milkshake to calm and comfort them, while this beverage is still legal.

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