Meatloaf, a baseball mitt and medicine?

An important part of the human experience is the connections we forge and cultivate with others.  We all have our own universe populated with a cast of characters who play roles in our personal and professional lives.  You might recall the words of a rather well known playwright who began a monologue with, All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players…

Familiarity breeds comfort.  Comfort creates satisfaction.  Change triggers anxiety.

The three maxims above are not incontrovertible, but they are often true.  Indeed, we have all experienced them throughout our lives.

As of this writing, my mother is 90-years-old.  She is managing reasonably well in her own apartment in New Jersey, in the same town where I was first raised over 60 years ago. During one of my recent visits to her, when she was of the tender age of 89, she prepared an amazing and unforgettable surprise for me.  She made me her special meatloaf, the same one that I had enjoyed all through childhood and beyond.  I hadn’t tasted it in several decades.  My mom had largely given up cooking in recent years but she would still bake cookies and brownies which she would joyously gift to her grandchildren and others. 

Mom!

The meatloaf was a cosmic gustatory and emotional experience for me. It was pure comfort, a throwback to my halcyon childhood.  It was a gift that only my mom could give me.  It was her meatloaf made by her own hand.  It is analogous to your old baseball mitt that’s sitting somewhere in the garage right now.  If you reach for it 20 years later, it will slide right onto your hand and feel as if it has never left you.  It will always fit perfectly.

Fits like a glove!

Haven’t we all heard a song on the radio that we haven’t heard in decades which transports us to an earlier time?   We still somehow even remember the words. 

My mom’s meatloaf was superb.  It was flavorful and thoroughly familiar even though I may have last enjoyed it 40 years prior. 

We cling to the familiar.  We don’t even want to change our hairdresser or our favorite salesperson at a local store!  This phenomenon is well represented in the practice of medicine. Patients are very tightly bound to their physicians.  Once a robust doctor-patient relationship is established, patients don’t want any exchanges or substitutions.  They want their own doctor.  Indeed, I am honored when patients express their faith and comfort with me and their concern that I may retire soon.  Am I really that good?  I don’t think so.  And many of them would not want any other gastroenterologist to perform their next colonoscopy.  Are my scope skills so far beyond those of my colleagues?  Of course, not. This is more about faith and trust than it is about competence.  

My patients and I have journeyed together for a long time. We share warm and comfortable relationships.  We have established familiar and harmonic rhythms.  I am their baseball mitt.

 Editor’s Note: For 16 years, I've published weekly essays here on Blogspot, which will continue. I’ve now begun publishing my work on a new blogging platform, Substack, and I hope you’ll join me there. Please enter your email address at this link to receive my posts directly to your inbox.