- Obama admits he voted for George Bush in 2000.
- Residency training regulations modified at NYC hospital. House staff is now required to work a full 7 days without sleep to maximize continuity of care and to reduce hand off errors.
- American College of Radiology argues that CAT scanning is underused and that thousands of incidentalomas are being missed.
- Pay-for-Performance model will now be applied to elected officials. Physicians will design the quality metrics.
- Medicare will now cover the cost of any treatment that a patient believes is medically necessary. Medicare may appeal the decision, which will be decided by the patient’s family.
- American Bar Association announces strong support for caps on non-economic damages. When asked if they now admit that the medical malpractice system was unfair, abusive and unjust, they responded, “yup”.
- FDA requires that the consumer cost of every prescription drug not exceed $1 per dose. Pharmaceutical companies concerned over loss of R & D revenue were reassured. Their profits will explode, our government explained, as Canadians will turn south for cheap medicines.
- Physicians can now receive fees for referring patients to medical colleagues just like lawyers now do with clients.
- Gastroenterologists, cardiologists, ophthalmologists and dermatologists volunteer to transfer 25% of their income to family physicians and internists because fairness feels good.
- Obama reassures the public about our stagnant economy. “I will do for our economy exactly what I did for health care.”
Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice…
Happy April Fool’s Day! Now, go pull a fast one on someone. If you’re not sure how to do this, and you need expert advice, call your senator or congressman. These fools are pros.